Why Gerry should come clean

Six reasons why Gerry Adams should admit he was a member of the IRA

1. It will give those of us who always tell the truth the opportunity to say “If he told a lie about his membership of the IRA, how can we trust him when he says anything else?” These would include such matters as tree-hugging, rubber ducks and the payment of his dog licence. 
2. It will remove any lingering belief that Mr Adams was secretly a senior RUC officer given unmerited promotion because of his personal friendship with Chief Constable Jack Hermon.
3. It will eliminate the possibility, popular in some circles,  that his goal is a united Ireland but one in which the country is ruled exclusively from London with Queen Elizabeth as head of state.
4. It will mean that his Dail questions about cuts in benefits and crippling national debt can be met with counter-questions about his personal role in every IRA operation since 1971. 
5. It will provide closure for those journalists who believe that it is in the public interest to know whether Gerry Adams was in the IRA or just openly supportive of it over the past forty years.  As things stand, these journalists are getting very little sleep, concerned as they are that someone may demand to know why they believe the distinction matters so much - beyond, of course, depriving them of the opportunity to source victims of IRA violence who can be  primed to spring out as the cameras roll and accuse Mr Adams of being a liar.  
6. Admission by Mr Adams that he was in the IRA will remove the appalling vista that at some point the public might begin to see some journalists as anti-republican, which of course they are not now and never have been.
7. Finally, it will allow Mr Adams, accompanied by Mr McGuinness, the chance to start going to confession regularly again.