Those Ontario riots: I feel so ashamed - don't you?

Oh dear. You have disgraced yourselves again, as  W B Yeats told the Abbey audience at that Synge play (or was it the O'Casey one?)  Like you, I'm horrified and ashamed at the scenes of rioting coming from London, Ontario. A lot of people got cuts and minor injuries, it seems, and thousands of dollars-worth of property was damaged. It appears to have been perpetrated by students from a nearby college or colleges, which makes me feel relieved that when I was a student, I never let alcohol pass my lips ("Lips that touch liquor will never touch mine", I used to explain to beautiful girls in bars),  never got into fights of any kind, acted in a responsible way, and never woke up next morning saying to myself "Holy Mother of God, part of my skull is missing and  I'm going to throw up, I know I am". But out of adversity comes opportunity: with our experience of those awful  Holylands disturbances, we're now in a position to ship out the Vice-Chancellors of UU and Queen's to Ontario, where they can explain to the authorities there how they've managed to deal with those disgustingly young people - sorry, I mean disgusting young people in the Holylands who spoilt things for everyone else by drinking in public and smashing things and giving people cuts, despite what sober responsible grown-ups told them. I mean, as that grave-faced man in the BBC clip from Ontario said, enough is enough.

By the way -  I assume, like me,  you never got pissed or bolshie when you were young? Right. I thought not.