Tuesday, 21 February 2012
Just what we need -another golf course. Thanks, Alex
You can be too modest, too. You can go around all the time saying "I am a worm and no man", and then next thing you discover you have greatness thrust upon you. Or if not thrust, at least breathing so close, you can feel its hot breath on your neck. I'm referring, of course, to the fact that Minister of the Environment Alex Attwood reads my blog.
You doubt my word? How else to explain that I do a blog titled 'How to play golf and get rich', and next day virtually, little Alex has got the news media all agog about will he/won't he give the green light to the development of a hum-dinger, top-drawer, out-of-this-world golf links up about Bushmills? Coincidence? I think not.
And not just a matter of links. There are going to be chalets - really nifty sort of golfing second homes. There's going to be a five-star hotel set in lovely scenery - it's going to be wunnerful. I expect the sellers of The Big Issue will hurl their magazines in the air and break into spontaneous dance when the news breaks. And when the 23,000 people that are homeless here get the word, they'll probably tear up those scrawled appeals of theirs and replace them with "Vote for Alex- He's good for golf!" And of course the 50,000 young people who emigrated to Canada and Australia from Ireland last year and the 50,000 that are expected to do likewise this year must be kicking themselves - they could stayed far nearer home and gone up north to whack a ball around Bushmills. Couldn't they?
Well, no. The one thing you can safely say about this golf links is that it will have a no-scruff-allowed policy. Somebody on radio this morning suggested that in this time of economic cut-back, there wouldn't be a market for this kind of luxury. Ha. And ha bloody ha. The answer is that there may not be a market for middle class and working class people, who are feeling the ever-sharper bite of the recession, but there are still enough super-rich people to fill the Bushmills hotel before tootling out for a restful-yet-fun 18 holes. Some natives might get lucky and find a job cooking or serving grub to the safe-from-recession golfers. The Easter Proclamation may have stated "the right of the people of Ireland to the ownerships of Ireland", but of course they didn't know what was going to be carved out, up in Bushmills, one hundred years later. Nice one, Alex. You're doing a great job. And keep reading, OK?