No,
don’t laugh. It could have happened to a bishop. When England hired Fabio
Capello, they thought he was just the man – great record of working with
successful football teams, a no-nonsense guy who’d bash some sense into
inflated English footballers’ heads. Oh dear. Four years and £24 million later,
it turns out he did nothing for the England team. Let’s see, now: manager who’s
successful with practically all his other teams draws a total blank with
England team. Is it Capello’s fault or might it be…No, no, don’t go there. And
stop sniggering at the back.
The
thing is, what now? Well, it looks like ‘Arry Redknapp is favourite, fresh from
his that-money-was-only-resting-in-my-account trial. The bookies have stopped
taking odds on him, especially since Rooney tweeted that Capello was a ‘top
manager’ but the next one “must be English – Redknapp for me”.
Trouble
is, ‘Arry has escaped the clutches of the vile Inland Revenue, but he’s manager
of Spurs at present and their top man Daniel Levy is notorious for driving very
hard bargains. So it’ll cost more than that £24 million that was thrown down
the drain if they want to get ‘Arry. And there’s so little time. Omigod. What
to do?
Fear
not - I have an idea. Did you see
where David Cameron yesterday said the reason British industry is in the
doldrums is, there aren’t enough women in the board rooms? What England clearly
needs is a woman manager. With all due respect, I offer you – Her
Majesty. She has said she’ll serve her country as long as she possibly can, and
this is one case where her country needs her. True, she’s more into the
killing-animals sort of sport than soccer, but don’t forget, both Wills and
Harry (as distinct from ‘Arry) have both attended at least one soccer match.
They could get down with the guys and give her regular ground-level reports on
how the players are feeling about things. And her husband, of course, could
help with tips on how to denigrate the opposition – those Asians with their
slanty eyes, the Scots who are always drunk, the Indians who haven’t a clue. The confidence in the
English dressing-room would hit an all-time high by the time Phil the Greek was
through. And best of all, Her
Majesty wouldn’t ask for a salary. Well, no more than the £40 million she gets
each year already. It’s a match
made in heaven.
Come
on, let’s be having you – and please, don’t
say you’re going to support
the Republic of Ireland this summer. Eng-er-land, Eng-er-land, ENG-ER-LAND!
Harry and England is asking for trouble.
ReplyDeleteWhy would Harry leave his cushy job at Spurs for the pressure oven that is the England job where success is demanded by the people and the tabloids no mattter how poor the players are.
Why would England want Harry a manager who seems to have had a number of personal money issues in the past that will come under even more scritiny once he is the England manager. A manager who has been successfull at times but has quite often spent beyond the means of those clubs leaving them with their own financial woes.
The most difficult thing to understand is why Capello tried to take the moral high ground - innocent until proven guilty blah - for John Terry of all people whose own history and family history makes for uncomfortable/entertaining reading. His inclusion never mind captaincy was going to tear the team apart - why could he not see this!!!!!
It certainly adds a nice subplot to the finals I will certainly be following the England matches with added interest especially if Terry is still picked