Tell you what – stuff your Kennedys, right, just stuff them and their Irish-American elections-buying and Marilyn Monroe and visiting his great-grandfather’s shack in Tipperary or wherever, right up your jacksey stuff it, what this is is a 110% no-bloody-Irish wee Ulsterman, taking them all on and whacking their arses in front of the Sky cameras, yeeeeee-HOOOOOO!!!! And where did he learn how to play, with a guy I know from Stoneyford, McIlroy was useless till ten years ago, he comes to your man and he says “Here, you’re a golfing man, I’d like to be one too only I can’t get the swing thing right", and my mate cos he's got a soft heart like taught him, taught him bloody good too, taught that skinny bugger married to your woman, you know, the president of Eire, taught him as well.
And see when they showed the, what’s this they call it, the leader board or something, the league table on Sky with where everyone was coming into the last lap yesterday, who’s at the top, our wee Ulsterman Rory, and beside every one of their names there’s a flag, and guess what our wee man has beside his name, the Ulster flag, ULSTER, ULSTER, ULSTER! Red hand in the middle and all, none of your tricolours in the background like I seen last year with your man McDowell, not saying your man McDowell wanted them waving rebel flags, know for a fact he didn’t, but it happened, you know, cos I seen them on the telly, bastards, lepping about, none of that this time, matter of fact, I was listening to the wee man yesterday after, you know after he won, and he was saying – and isn’t he right, eh? – CHAMPIONES, CHAMPIONES, OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ! No, he wasn’t saying that, I was saying that – CHAMPIONES!- they were asking him, like, how come so many good golfers comes out of Northern Ireland, and I was hoping he’d say “Cos there's a genius guy in Stoneyford taught them, same as he done me” but he didn’t, but he done the next best thing, he said “It’s amazing, one wee nation winning the US Open back-to-back, I’m so proud!” Hear that, NATION, none of your regions or states or any of that shite - NATION, the nation of Ulster, olé, olé, OLÉ! ...And forget it, you smart-arse, it ****ing does not mean we’re not still a part of the UK, don’t you try getting smart with me, all I’m saying is, wouldn’t it make you proud to see an Ulsterman come out and say it, eh? “A WEE NATION!” So suck on that, youse Kennedy crawlers, of course that big-nebbed weirdo-looking guy, the Prime Minister of Eire, Enda Mac Cioannaidh or whatever he’s called, tried to get in on the act too, saying our wee Rory winning was “emphatic and inspiring”, you're right it was, big-neb, so it was, eight strokes, only it's none of your business, you ****ing southern culchie, this is our wee man, not yours, go back to your Irish bogs, wee Rory is ours, y’hear, ours, ours, OURS.
What did you say?...Don’t be stupid, DON’T BE ****ING STUPID, how could he be, doesn’t make sense, propaganda, republican propaganda, that's all, forget it, sunshine. There's no fenian EVER BORN could play golf the way that wee Ulsterman plays it. Ask my mate in Stoneyford. He knows.
Golf is a four letter word...C'mon now Jude they're crap at every other sport...don't like big balls apparently...Spose we'll be seeing stickers in backs of cars saying NIrish men do it with small liathroids...!
ReplyDeleteWe accept that you are trying to be ironic but can you not be glad for young Rory.Does every successful local sportsperson have to wrap the Tricolor round them to be acceptable in your eyes?
ReplyDeleteMy happiness for Rory McIlroy winning the US Open turned to disgust and disappointment. NBC covered the Open here and they had cameras on him as he was making his way to receive the trophy after the final hole. As he was making his way through the crowd someone handed him a Tricolor. Young Rory got rid of it so fast it would make your head spin. He didn't want anything to do with it. Then when NBC showed his adoring father guess what; McIlroy senior was clutching close to his chest, an Ulster flag.
ReplyDeleteWhat is wrong with these people are the ashamed of being Irish.
Funny thing, our American announcers including the great Johnny Miller kept calling Rory, "an Irishman" all day.
To Anonymous 11:58.
No they don't need to wrap the Tricolor around themselves, but they don't need to reject it, like it was a dirty rag either.
You actually sat down and spent time writing this? Why?
ReplyDeleteThe poster above does you a favour by suggesting you were trying to be ironic - you weren't - you were trying to be funny. Ah, well...
Oh a cute hoor...same as the rest of them...at least he's stopped wearing the nuclear orange tops...
ReplyDeleteWhat the Tangosauri do not realise is that outside their own inbred community they are seen by the wider world as Irish...God forbid...sure you couldn't look at them....
Jim Lynch, hard as it may be for you, try to understand that people have different opinions, beliefs and ideals to you. I have no problem with an Ulsterman deciding that his flag his the tricolour if he so chooses so you should maybe afford the same courtesy to Rory McIlroy.
ReplyDeleteJude, you could do with sounding a little less bitter about it all too.
Now Jude don't be gettin' twitter'n'bisted... I'm beginning to think that 'bitter' is the only adjective in loyalists lexicography...
ReplyDeletePerhaps 'bitter' is Ullaallaaland for humour...? Actually does anyone know of a humorous Prod...? Someone... Anyone..hellooo...?
ReplyDeleteEd Simpson; you missed my point completely. I have no problem with Mr.McIlroy's preference. However I do have a problem with his sanctimonious behavior in rejecting the Tricolor in full view of the watching public as shown on NBC.
ReplyDeleteIf he wishes to be labeled an "Ulsterman" why did he not correct the NBC commentators during the event. It's not uncommon for sports figures to correct the so called experts on TV.
The Irish are very well loved here in the US and I guess it served his purpose to be seen as an Irish man, that is until he won.
This really is desperately petty and hateful stuff Jude.
ReplyDeleteThat survey proving that as Northern Ireland gets more Catholic, it gets more unionist, really perforated your ulcer Jude, didn't it?
ReplyDeleteAfter McIlroy lost the Masters he said he had nothing to complain about as his thoughts were with the family of Constable Kerr.
ReplyDeleteThe man has perspective, rare in top-level sports.
This blog is a disgrace.
He is not an 'Ulsterman he is a NIrishman...the 6 counties of Northern Ireland are not 'Ulster'...the fourth green field comprises of 9 not 6 counties...tch...when will people stop using this geographical inexactitude...?
ReplyDeleteA recent Belfast Telegraph poll tells us that some 88% of people in the north of Ireland consider nationality an important or very important matter. So it is hardly a petty or unimportant matter. More power to your elbow Jude.
ReplyDeleteJude is in the mood for mischief today methinks...
ReplyDeleteJim Lynch: It wasn't sanctimonious, it's not his flag, why should he have taken it?
ReplyDeleteI'm not even sure he's an NIrishman...have you heard his occent..? Lloyd Grossman meets Graeme McDowell somewhere in the mid Atlantic...they seem to have some trouble with their vowel movements...murderin' the Queen's English so they are....
ReplyDeleteSomebody told me Rory lives in Carryduff and who could blame him Holywood is a complete dump.
ReplyDeleteA lot of people seem interested in this topic:
ReplyDeletehttp://thescore.thejournal.ie/poll-do-you-consider-rory-mcilroy-to-be-british-or-irish-159435-Jun2011/?utm_source=shortlink
...but somehow they manage to write about it without bitterness. Why don't you try it sometime?
ReplyDeleteThe tricolour was "handed" to Rory btw, look again, it was thrown at him and hit him in the chest and fell to the ground.
ReplyDeleteI have no problem with people from NI choosing the tricolour as their flag. But some Irish people are very aggressive about every person on this island needing to wrap a tricolour around their shoulders. Like yesterday a tricolour been thrown at Rory. Or like the Ryder Cup last year, that Irish golfer trying again and again to make Rory and McDowell hold up the tricolour.
It is pathetic and insecure.
Rory should avoid all flags but to embrace the ulster banner and reject the tricolour is obviously going to offend many but at least they are only offended not like the knuckle heads who sent death threats to Eddie Irvine when a tricolour was raised at the Australian grand prix instead of a union Jack - he didnt want either but a shamrock flag but that was never allowed for some strange reason by the FIA.
ReplyDeleteI remember in 2002 when Europe won the ryder cup a tricolour was draped over Harrington, McGinley and Clarke with Clarke heard saying at least give me the orange part - Good way to handle the situation. So Rory as alreay stated avoid all flags like the plague they will bring nothing but trouble oh and ps congratulations on a stunning victory
The sheer hatred of unionists displayed by Jude Collins is dead end and a depressing spectacle.
ReplyDeleteIf Rory McIlroy or any of the other vowel stranglers was playing golf in the back garden I'd pull the blind down...I'd rather stick pins in my eyes...
ReplyDeleteHow a game for unfit fat (with a couple of exceptions) middle-aged fag smoking bankers(give or take a syllable)was ever designated a 'sport' is a mystery...Its the outdoor equivalent of darts...'a good walk ruined' indeed...All you genetically aggrieved prods don't like Judes blog then there's a simple solution...don't read it...Duh! I wouldn't dream of reading a Prod blog... So there ye are noye...
By Jude's fans shall ye know him.
ReplyDeleteLooks like the VO parasite trolls are back...need to get Rentokil in...
ReplyDeleteJim Lynch: I don't think you quite understand the situation. I may be wrong but it appears as though you may well be an American (or at least reside there). If you were in a similar position and a Canadian flag was thrown at you, I am sure you would reject it. And why shouldn't you it is not your flag. In the same vein why should Rory have anything to do with a Tricolour. He is not Irish, he is Northern Irish, a completely different country altogether.
ReplyDeleteAlso do you really think he has the time to go and correct the commentators, or do you even think he has any knowledge that they are referring to him as an "irishman"? I think he may have slightly more pressing matters on his mind.
And also to claim that he was happy to be called an irishman as it suited him and got him in good favour with the american crowds?!? Really?
Wind your neck in son.
I know I shouldn't encourage some of the contributors above but I've just read this rather-dated-but-um-interesting blog - you might care to have a read...
ReplyDeletehttp://viscount.typepad.com/a_viscount_speaks/2009/09/three-cheers-for-rory-mcilroy-a-true-briton.html
So basically your mirror image. What's your point? Two wrongs make a right?
ReplyDeleteYou're just not talented enough to get away with this sort of thing Jude - if your piece was in any way amusing it might have worked, but it's unfunny to the point of being odd, and the only coherent thing left is the painfully apparent nastiness of your own sectarian demons.
ReplyDeleteOf course, given the condition of your career, a certain degree of attention-seeking could be in order but you are making a mistake with the uber-bigot approach. Jaws are beginning to drop among your paying customers, old man, and pennies along with them...
jude collins is nothing more than a bigoted scumbag, your views are out of touch with the rest of the population and only backed by narrow minded people like yourself, you are a disgrace!
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the contributions - even the name-calling ones, for staying within the bounds of decency. I do think, though, that discussion works best when the central point of a blog is addressed, and there usually is one, honestly. So if contributors (and again, thanks to all) could try to focus on the issue under consideration, it'd probably make for more interesting comments. And as I think someone indicated, if you REALLY think I'm an excrescence, it does seem a bit odd to spend time reading me...
ReplyDeleteOf course by referring to himself as an 'Ulsterman' and carrying the flag of 'Ulster' perhaps wee Rory does consider himself to be an Irishman as opposed to a NIrishman... recognising as it were that the fourth green field encompasses counties both North and South...? heh heh
ReplyDeleteI am a proud Ulsterman and proud to be Irish. Thr Irish Republic's tri-colour however in no way represents myself or my family. In fact when I see it festooned on lamp-posts in certain areas in Northern Ireland the overt message is that I am not wanted in that area. Sadly the road my work-place is on is just like that. Building an Ireland of Equals! By the way, well done Rory! Northern Ireland is proud of you!
ReplyDeleteRyan your confusing a continent (North America) with a country ( Ireland ) Canada has never been invaded and occupied by the US.
ReplyDeleteSince when did six of the nine counties of Ulster become a country?
Your analogy is nonsense.
Yes he did have time as he was interviewed many times by the NBC commentators during the four days of the tournament.
I must assume by your snide remarks that you are a "wee Ulsterman"
Most if not all of the world sees anyone from the island of Ireland as Irish.
Your tunnel vision of things apparently see only 'orange' You should get out more and have some introspection in your narrow view of the world.
Lot of very confused people here... however it seems they do have other adjectives beside bitter..bigot uber bigot bigotted scumbag... dead depressing desperate hateful nasty sectarian not talented odd old man unfunny unionist-hater...
ReplyDeleteWhat a charming race...yet they all want to read and comment on your blog...the question surely is why...?
Still I bet they're great fun at parties...particularly the orange sashwearing weirdy dressy uppy ones....F*ck the begrudgers Jude and all bad luck go with them...!
Ryan on re-reading my post I noticed I goofed and wrote
ReplyDelete"Ryan your confusing a continent with a country " Instead of writing; "Ryan you're confusing a continent with a country."
So if it gives you any comfort you did irritate me to the extent of the above mentioned 'goof'.
I'm sure you were astute to notice!
First rule of blog club...NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! talk about blog club...or apologise...they don't know the meaning of the word...
ReplyDeleteMaybe this Proddy obssession with your blog is a bit like teenagers who when they fancy someone say they hate them and other negative things to get attention...kinda puppy love syndrome...cue Donny Osmond...And they call it Proddy lohoholove....
Jim Lynch:
ReplyDeleteCheers for the reply Jim. I am clearly not coming across as myself in my comments.
First of all I would like to address you comment that I see only orange and should get out more. I am actually a very well travelled lad, with a massive respect and love for many cultures all around the world. Of which both Ireland and Northern Ireland are a part of. I think what annoys me is peoples lack of respect for people who follow their own beliefs and define their own cultural identity.
So I do apologise if I have indeed come across as narrow minded, as this is very much not the case, in fact quite the opposite is true. As you quite correctly identified I am an Ulster man, I am also very proud to be Northern Irish, a choice that a lot of people make and as I stated previously, a choice that should be respected. As such a tricolour is in no way representative of myself or my cultural identity, I believe the same is probably true for Rory.
You may be correct in stating that much of the world would view anyone from the Island of Ireland as Irish, and I do not take offense to that, rather I see it as a lack of education and understanding.
On your point about my analogy, I was not confused, I am actually aware of the difference between a country, an island and a continent. But if you spend a moment to consider the word analogy I think you will find that you have actually contradicted yourself in your argument. So to go back to my original comment, you are correct it was an analogy, not a direct literal comparison as you appear to have taken it and I still stand by my analogy, basically in both cases there are two separate countries.
You then asked "Since when did six of the nine counties of Ulster become a country?", well I will admit it has been a while since my days of studying history but if I recall Northern Ireland became a country in the early 1900's. This is a point that i am sure many will debate, but again it leads to the respect of each individuals choice.
I have probably rambled for long enough here, but I think my main point is that people should be free to choose their own cultural identity and this decision should be respected by all. I therefore see the tricolour as a completely irrelevant flag for the likes of myself. This does not mean I have anything against the flag or the people that support it, I am simply saying that it does not represent me.
Rory is proudly Northern Irish. Clearly this upsets some bitter people, such as Jim above, and Jude too apparently. Tough - live with it.
ReplyDeleteI'm proudly Northern Irish too and I'm proud of Rory.
Why are Prods always 'proudly NIrish'...? Why do they always define themselves by their praaaviaaancial status...'I'm Prod therefore I om'...? Please take wee Rory his tiny little balls we don't want him them...Then go and blog on a comment 'bored' that wants you...
ReplyDeleteSame old Prods always where they're not waaannnted....
As for six counties of Ireland being a 'country'...Eh?
What happened to the Praaavaaance...and the constant references to the Mainland...the sooner you lot disappear like the Dinosaur the baaaatttterrrr....Yawwwwnnnnn
Think you will find that Rory is a Roman Catholic and is proud to be Northern Irish. This is not a discussion about religion, couldnt be further from it. Very sad that religion always gets brought into these issues considering the severe lack of actual religious people in the country these days.
ReplyDeleteWhat a load of old bigoted toss.. cant understand why i bothered wasting 3 minutes of my life reading that bull and the defence of it. Pathetic.
ReplyDeleteThe lie about them using a tri colour to represent McDowell last year ,just adds to the patheticness of the whole piece.
ReplyDeleteHow sad that Rory's victory has to become the target of political sniping Jude. How sad that we cannot all gather round and embrace him as our own. He is a local - Irish, British or Northern Irish, I have an affinity to him. Maybe you object to the fact that he plays golf. Maybe you object to the fact that he supports Ulster Rugby. Maybe you object to the fact that he is very successful. Thankfully these snipers are in a very small minority.
ReplyDeleteThe rest of us will enjoy the warm feel-good glow that has enveloped our surroundings in the light of the victory. Those who do not want to enjoy it, no problem - but try not to ruin it for everyone else.
Even leading members of Sinn Fein were happy to declare warm congratulations to Rory from the Assembly. I do not understand (not that I need to) the objections.
Finally on a point of pedantry:
- If Rory is Northern Irish, he is an Ulsterman (see Anon from 20 June 2011 15:35). I think it's fair to say Rory sees himself as an Ulsterman.
OM
Bitter. You are a dinosaur Jude. Yesterdays man. Wallow in it.
ReplyDeleteThe issue under consideration? Is Jude Collins a bigot, a Unionist hater and is he bitter?
ReplyDeleteAnswers on a postcard.
:-)
Rory is born on the island of Ireland. He is therefore Irish.
ReplyDeleteRyan you were gracious in you comments and I accept your point of view. However one or two points I am confused about. If indeed the North of Ireland, ( six counties out of the nine of Ulster ) is a country, how do you explain 'direct rule' by London? Also the government there does not have the privilege (Ha!) of raising taxes, that is handled by the government in London. You actually live on a very heavy subsidy from the British.
ReplyDeleteIf that's what you call a country, then maybe you need to travel even more. No disrespect, but lets be real here, you're ruled by London if and when they please.
Good luck and take care.
Thanks again for the reply Jim.
ReplyDeleteOn the point of Northern Ireland being a country, as I said I believe this is a point that is very much open to debate. On some official lists the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland is considered a country; however it is common also that individually England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland are all considered individual countries on their own merit.
Indeed we are heavily subsidised by the government in London, and as such I do not think it would make economic sense for Northern Ireland to be entirely independent nor under control of the Irish government, but that is another debate altogether. We do however have our own devolved government, as do Scotland and Wales, all of which I would very much class as countries.
To be honest it is a very complicated situation, and unfortunately we cannot all just be satisfied that a man who lives on the same chunk of land mass as us has made something of himself. Northern Ireland was in the news for all the right reasons for less than 24 hours until the riots in Belfast last night, I find it very sad that issues of this substance cause people to drop to that level.
Again, thanks for your response.
Ulster isn't a NATION ye gobshite, northern ireland is what I think you mean. There's 3 other counties in Ulster not in your "nation", I think you need to go look at a map aswell as visit an anger management specialist as you seem a very angry old man indeed.
ReplyDeleteAnon 13.45
ReplyDeleteI think that may the point Jude was making about wee Rory's claim but slightly more subtley...If you want to be insulting subtlety is far more effective...as is irony Mr Angry...
What happened to Jackie McDonnell...?
ReplyDeleteAnon 03.45
ReplyDeleteBless you my child...
Jude
ReplyDeleteThis tells us how you imagine some sad character with a mate in Stoneyford would feel about Rory's win. But how do you feel. Proud of the local lad ?
Ashamed of him? Indifferent? Perhaps you could tell us.
You will be lucky to get a comment from Jude on this.He tends to reply mostly to those who share his Sinn Fein view of the world
ReplyDeleteOh I see.So all that stuff about "You want opinions, I'll give you opinions" is just rhetoric? Disappointing.
ReplyDeleteOne of Rory's relatives was murdered by the UVF in 1972.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2008249/PSNI-reinvestigating-murder-Rory-McIlroys-great-uncle-Joe-gang-UVF-killers.html
Anon 21:10 and giordanobruno said...:
ReplyDeleteI respond to whoever I feel like responding to. I decide, not my commenters.
Sorry if that disappoints anyone.
That's your right of course Jude. Its your ball.
ReplyDeleteI did ask a fairly straight forward question though, on the topic which you blogged about.
So yes I am disappointed. I was simply hoping to find out your own opinion of Rory.
'An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.'
Proverbs 24:26
jude, very witty piece. don't know you but when i scrolled down was interested to see that are apparently a shin finner. had assumed the writer was a self-deprecating prod and not a piss taking mick...did i find your piece funnier, when i assumed you were a hun, because the nature of comedy is such that it is more amusing to an audience when someone parodies their own society's commonly held views, rather than those of another society...or is because i am a dirty prod and can laugh at myself as long as no-one else does? anyway it still made me laugh either way, keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteWell Jude, any heartfelt words of congratulations for old Darren? Or was he not coached by your mate from Stoneyford?
ReplyDelete