Jude Collins

Monday, 7 March 2011

Come into the parlour, there's...

Maybe better start by asking “Why not?” Every year thousands of English people visit Ireland north and south, and we fall over ourselves to welcome them. Apart from our natural disposition towards friendliness – and it does exist – these people bring much-needed revenue. The notion of making them unwelcome because they’re English is so ridiculous, it doesn’t cross the mind of normal people.

So can’t we extend the same welcoming hand to Queen Elizabeth when she comes to the south in May? Alex Attwood says “all right-thinking people” will be more than happy she’s visiting and will welcome her. The Venerable Organ this morning gives its editorial over exclusively to echoing this SDLP line. Surely they’re right? If we cheerfully welcome Englishman Joe Bloggs, shouldn’t we do the same for Englishwoman Elizabeth Windsor?

Well we can welcome her and thousands such as Alex Attwood and the writers of the VO editorials undoubtedly will. But before we pull out our little union flags and hurry southwards, let’s consider a few things.

The Joe Bloggs-Elizabeth Windsor comparison is fake. Joe Bloggs represents Joe Bloggs; Elizabeth Windsor represents the British state – she’s its head. She is also Commander-in-Chief of the British Armed Forces, which includes the Parachute Regiment – remember them? The people of Ballymurphy and Derry do.

But, you say, that’s the past. The Good Friday Agreement has been signed, the violence is ended – in the circumstances, why would anyone not welcome a visit by the British monarch? Other, of course, than stuck-in-the-past Anglophobes and those wedded to violence. “The Queen comes here to the North regularly and there’s no problem” little Alex might add. “What’s the difference in a visit to the south?”

Because by welcoming the head of the British state, the Commander-in-Chief of the British Armed Forces, that section of our country which has gained independence from Britain is effectively saying “Right. That’s it. We’ve got our sovereign state, the north prefers to live under British rule, everyone’s happy. The historic quarrel between our two islands is now ended”.

Except it’s not. Close one eye as much as you like, the elephant continues to squat in the middle of the parlour. It’s an elephant with a long name: Partition And British Rule. Those who urge a cead mile failte should wake up and smell the elephant-dung. If they don’t, the SDLP and the VO’s favourite monarch risks getting a welcome similar to that accorded the Love Ulster people in 2006.


  1. I see a certain story about one of her sons won't go away no matter how much she may wish it to.



  2. A pretty predictable blog with all the usual targets.Apart from the immediate editorial perhaps you would enlighten us what irritates you about the Irish News/Venerable Organ.I always had the impression that you left them for the Daily Ireland .As far as I can see the paper seems to reflect a pretty broad spectrum of nationalist opinion but at times you seem to be paranoid about it.

  3. he's also just a senile idiot.

  4. Ha hahaaaa. You could be right, Anon 2. I don't know why you're wasting your time reading a senile idiot. Anon 1 - I guess your mummy must have been a clairvoyant, if you're able to predict what will be written in advance - maybe you'd give me a list of winners at Newmarket for the weekend? As to the VO - it is as I say a Venerable Organ - respected, revered even and a public organ. The editorial in question follows exactly the line articulated by AA - seemed reasonable to point that out. As for paranoid...I'm not sure I can be senile and paranoid at the same time. And an idiot. Though how you'd tell when an idiot became senile is another question...Mmmm. Food for thought there.
    But thanks for your thoughts, Anon 1 + 2. You've brightened an otherwise dull evening - The Frontline is a bit of a snore. I blame that senile paranoid idiot Kenny.

  5. An evasive response,Jude.Surely its fairly obvious that you would hardly write a blog praising the royal family,the SDLP and the Irish News.The latter is scarcely an uncritical vehicle for SDLP views eg Brian Feeneys and Jim Gibneys columns.Why the snide tone towards the Irish News? Did they perhaps dispense with your services in the past?

  6. Perish the thought, Anon. I don't know how they;re limping on without me...

  7. A Chara
    Jude I think you're spot on about Queenie... ignore the Anonymous Trolls...
    By the way my mate Danny Morrison reposted on his blog the stuff about your recent Winnings of £1000 after correctly predicting Sinn Fein Gains 4 years ago!
    Well now yesterday i had a letter from the DWP saying I'm not entitled to Job Seekers Allowance...as I am totally broke I don't suppose you find your way to sending this poor Brit a Sub??
    I need the cash to get to from Bromsgrove to London on March 26th to help start a Republican Revolution in England...I am taking a tent and sleeping bag and will not be going home till we have regime change..
    About £100 would be great.
    give me a ring if you can help out
    01527 836 156

    respectfully yours
    in solidarity
    Mark Anthony France

  8. Ha ha ha, Mark Anthony - nice try. Alas, I have a number of good homes already prepared for my winnings. But good luck with your revolutionary efforts...

  9. You didn't get home because you missed the coach. You could sue them for leaving you behind even though you didn't pay for the trip in the 1st place! Hah Hah! Oh, you ARE suing? Why doesn't that surprise me?